Blog Archives

Finding Me Again

We were together for many years
We became as one
It was like I had your blood running through my veins
We could read each others thoughts
Finish each others sentences 
Without saying a word 
There is so much I’d like to change
But I can’t turn back the hands of time
Your memory will always be apart of me and my heart
I still talk to you 
And wonder if you hear
Sometimes I can feel you near
Even in my dreams
My heart can’t say good-bye
For it’s afraid your memory will die
A part of my heart is with you
And it’s yours to keep
Now that you are gone
I’m left to stand alone..

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A Broken Smile

I sit here with a smile on my face, 
I smile as I breathe in deep, 
I smile as I close my eyes 
and I smile all day long;

the sky is dark, 
as the freezing winds 
seep into my bones, 
I sit here smiling silently cold and empty;

I wait here frozen in time, 
with my dreams torn apart, 
my heart encased in a tomb, 
I smile to mask my true emotions;

smile is all that I do day in and day out, 
the mask that I wear is so perfect, 
one needs to come a lot closer, 
to see the tears trickling down my eyes;

the days are long, 
the nights longer still. 
I try to find the light, 
but find comfort only in the dark;

emotions swell inside, 
walking on a broken path, 
I look up for the rainbow 
hoping that one day I will get off 
this broken path and onto a new one;

Teach Me

It’s the middle of the night, my eyes stare into nothingness, 
Hoping to find some light, peering into the vastly blackness, 
Not sure what to do next, questions flooding my consciousness, 
Tiny pins of needle pricking my heart, leaving me breathless.

Reality slowly creeping in, numbing me it is time to let go, 
To move on away from you to some far place I dont know. 
Loving you has not been easy neither is breaking up with you, 
Knowing you have someone else tells me what I should do.

So many things left undone and words unspoken, 
Dreams has been shattered, promises has been broken, 
Years spent in sweet togetherness suddenly apart, 
Time is not enough to mend my ailing heart.

Teach me how to be brave so I can live a life without you, 
Place a soft tune in my head and a smile in my heart too, 
Help me raise my chin up high so I can face the world again, 
Hope flicker in my heart as I look into the future one more time.

My Love After U

The sun rises once again, 
Awakening me from the calm of night before, 
Where I could hear nothing but the sound of silence, 
Where I could feel nothing but the breathing of my soul,

With the majesty of the morning sun, 
Comes with it the sorrows of my life, 
Where the realities of losing you haunts me, 
Where the shadows of the past taunts me,

Cries of mine to you to return, 
Falls upon the grounds below, 
Like the autumn leaves which drops from the tree up above, 
Like the droplets of rain from the clouds beyond reach,

The woe within my heart, 
Hides between the shadows of the dark, 
Praying for the night, 
For it all to go away again.

A Tear On My Pillow

When I lay and think, in my bed at night, 
the day you’ll arrive, seems nowhere in sight. 
I toss and I turn, dreaming of you, 
opening my eye’s… checking if my dream came true. 
It didn’t, again, and a tear starts to roll, 
weeping quietly… my pillow I hold.

Many sleepless nights I’ve prayed for you, my love. 
God touched my soul from heaven above 
I’ve never felt this lucky, God did this for me. 
That’s a question I asked each and every night.

He must think your special, Joy, and I know he’s right. 
No other has made me feel so complete, 
my whole life was lived, just so we could meet. 
All these thoughts and more going through my head. 
I fall asleep not worrying, but dreaming of you… instead

 

All My Life

It was not so long ago 
when I thought I’d never meet someone like you. 
Wrong was I, thinking I’m in control 
Believing I’d never fall.

All my life I thought no one would 
melt a heart like mine, a heart so cold, 
a heart hardened by the past, 
protected by shields so vast.

Slowly I was falling 
without even knowing. 
Only to find out too late 
I have no choice but to accept my fate.

I could dream, I suppose 
forever, I could hope 
there will never be any ‘us’, that’s our destiny 
so I wake up to reality.

I lied when I said 
I didn’t love you, 
that my feelings for you 
are through.

I lied 
not because I wanted to 
but because I love you 
and I still do.

I wouldn’t do a thing to hurt you 
but I just have to let go. 
I can’t hold on much longer 
‘coz for us there’s no forever.

Am also human

People often ask me
How I always smile
Don’t I have ant worries?
Don’t I ever cry
But they are only the fools
Forget and always ignore
That I’m also a human
And I also have the feelings
They always give me company
They always laugh with me
I always make them happy
And always make them smile
But they never had the feeling
That I have a wounded heart..

Angel

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Kinda lose your sense of time
Cause the days don’t matter no more
All the feelings that you hide
Gonna tear you up inside
You hope he knows you tried

thoughts Follow you around all day
And you wake up soaking wet
Cause between this world and eternity
There is a face you hope to see

You’ve been walking around in tears
No answers are there to get
You won’t ever be the same
Someone cries and you’re to blame

Struggling with a fight inside
Sorrow you’ll defeat
The picture you see it won’t disappear
Not unpleasant dreams or his voice you hear

You know where you’ve sent him
You sure know where you are
You’re trying to ease off
But you know you won’t get far
And now he’s up there
Sings like an angel
But you can’t hear those words..

The darkness. . .

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The only thing I can see through the window is thick rain drops piercing down on my conscious.

I stay in the middle of my bed curled up and trying to shield myself from the unknown.

I feel like it is never going to shine and never going to stop raining.

The night seems restless and everlasting.

A loud Roar of wind comes crashing down on my window.

I feel that it’s trying to get inside and take me away.

Why can’t this night end soon?!

I’m utterly alone in confining myself to this prison called home.

I’m in solitude that has despair written all around it.

There’s no where else to turn.

Desperate for this night to be over.

I’m daring the sun to come out,

But it doesn’t.

My ears catch every rain drop that falls, while my eyes are blinded shut by darkness.

I stay curled in my fragile state, wishing for this dreadful night to end.

There’s no peaked window that is not surrounded by the pitch black darkness of the night.

There’s no opening of light to which my skin feels warmth.

There’s no crystal clear view, only the solitary confinement which I’m in.

I have nothing else to do but sit and wait.

Quietly crunched in my bed, waiting for darkness to fade into the sunlight.

I will wait!

Trying to contain my thoughts in silence.

I must simply wait…..In hopes that I will not fade within the darkness.