Blog Archives

Finding Me Again

We were together for many years
We became as one
It was like I had your blood running through my veins
We could read each others thoughts
Finish each others sentences 
Without saying a word 
There is so much I’d like to change
But I can’t turn back the hands of time
Your memory will always be apart of me and my heart
I still talk to you 
And wonder if you hear
Sometimes I can feel you near
Even in my dreams
My heart can’t say good-bye
For it’s afraid your memory will die
A part of my heart is with you
And it’s yours to keep
Now that you are gone
I’m left to stand alone..

Lose Myself

prisoner of love

What am i supposed to to?
after all that i have been through
when everything else had been banished
like a fog, it slowly creeped inside me once again!

can’t find the reason to keep holding on
don’t know how long i can keep going on
like this, hiding everything neatly tucked inside
smiling falsely and proving nothing.

change is inevitable,
thoughts of you now 
crawling inside me
like never before.

right when i thought
there’s nothing else left
seeds of love were
sown deep inside me!

once a barren land
your presence, your thoughts
transformed it into a garden
now teeming with life

now teeming with thoughts of you,
i try to find a reason to hold on,
to delay the inevitable!
when love has won the war,
i have lost the battle to you!
i am lost under your spell
and i am losing myself everyday!

Teach Me

It’s the middle of the night, my eyes stare into nothingness, 
Hoping to find some light, peering into the vastly blackness, 
Not sure what to do next, questions flooding my consciousness, 
Tiny pins of needle pricking my heart, leaving me breathless.

Reality slowly creeping in, numbing me it is time to let go, 
To move on away from you to some far place I dont know. 
Loving you has not been easy neither is breaking up with you, 
Knowing you have someone else tells me what I should do.

So many things left undone and words unspoken, 
Dreams has been shattered, promises has been broken, 
Years spent in sweet togetherness suddenly apart, 
Time is not enough to mend my ailing heart.

Teach me how to be brave so I can live a life without you, 
Place a soft tune in my head and a smile in my heart too, 
Help me raise my chin up high so I can face the world again, 
Hope flicker in my heart as I look into the future one more time.

My Love After U

The sun rises once again, 
Awakening me from the calm of night before, 
Where I could hear nothing but the sound of silence, 
Where I could feel nothing but the breathing of my soul,

With the majesty of the morning sun, 
Comes with it the sorrows of my life, 
Where the realities of losing you haunts me, 
Where the shadows of the past taunts me,

Cries of mine to you to return, 
Falls upon the grounds below, 
Like the autumn leaves which drops from the tree up above, 
Like the droplets of rain from the clouds beyond reach,

The woe within my heart, 
Hides between the shadows of the dark, 
Praying for the night, 
For it all to go away again.

A Tear On My Pillow

When I lay and think, in my bed at night, 
the day you’ll arrive, seems nowhere in sight. 
I toss and I turn, dreaming of you, 
opening my eye’s… checking if my dream came true. 
It didn’t, again, and a tear starts to roll, 
weeping quietly… my pillow I hold.

Many sleepless nights I’ve prayed for you, my love. 
God touched my soul from heaven above 
I’ve never felt this lucky, God did this for me. 
That’s a question I asked each and every night.

He must think your special, Joy, and I know he’s right. 
No other has made me feel so complete, 
my whole life was lived, just so we could meet. 
All these thoughts and more going through my head. 
I fall asleep not worrying, but dreaming of you… instead

 

All My Life

It was not so long ago 
when I thought I’d never meet someone like you. 
Wrong was I, thinking I’m in control 
Believing I’d never fall.

All my life I thought no one would 
melt a heart like mine, a heart so cold, 
a heart hardened by the past, 
protected by shields so vast.

Slowly I was falling 
without even knowing. 
Only to find out too late 
I have no choice but to accept my fate.

I could dream, I suppose 
forever, I could hope 
there will never be any ‘us’, that’s our destiny 
so I wake up to reality.

I lied when I said 
I didn’t love you, 
that my feelings for you 
are through.

I lied 
not because I wanted to 
but because I love you 
and I still do.

I wouldn’t do a thing to hurt you 
but I just have to let go. 
I can’t hold on much longer 
‘coz for us there’s no forever.

Peace in Rain

Rain fell last night…quiet, gentle rain,

that tapped against my window pane,

and called me back from troubled sleep,

to soothe a heart too numb to weep.

 

My loneliness was too deep and real,

and like a wound that would not heal,

it throbbed within me, and I knew

my arms were empty without you.

 

But as I listened to the sound

of soft rain falling on the ground,

I heard your voice, tender and clear,

Call my name, and oh my dear,

 

I threw my window open wide,

to let the sweet rain rush inside.

It kissed my lips, my eyes, my hair,

and love, I knew that you were there.

 

Tears that my heart could not release

Fell down from Heaven, bringing peace.

Last night while gray clouds softly wept,

I held you in my arms and slept.

My other half

I appear whole on the outside
But within I am so broken
There’s a piece of me that’s been missing
My other half, my voice of reason

I try to clap but there’s only one hand
I try to run, but with one leg I dare not stand
My eyes are open, but I cannot see
Because my other half is not next to me

I reach out at nights but there’s no one to hold
I touch your side of bed and it feels so cold
I sit down to a meal but I can barely eat
Because the purpose of sharing has faced defeat

But I have faith that one day complete I will be
‘Cause my other half is out there searching for me
If only for a moment I can get him next to me
I will make sure my other half fits me perfectly.


I am searching for u again

Thinking of the past days

i can tell u in many ways

my heart has not in it fears

but simple heart-breaking tears.

i cannot tell u how it is

those were the days i surely miss!!

stars that shone in my eyes

but now in wind as true lies

life is never favorable friend

never can i mend

the broken pieces of our friendship plate

no use of saying its too late

months and days have passed away

again in my heart a bright sun ray

talking about past days are useless and in vain

in the lonely streets i am searching for u again

days flow away my friend

no more feelings i can send

once again in the sands of the sea

I’ll be looking for the eyes that once watched me


Longing for the “us” again

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These days I´m walking the halls of imagination
and those hallways sometimes bring me back in those nights,
late hours and every night is long.so there is alot of time to shed a tear
and i don´t know why i still write to you.i don´t know why
i still breathe for you.
i sleep you.
i dream of you,
all is the same like before,just you are not there!
this feeling of yours,this love that anxiety,
i confess,
it doesn´t work to stop thinking and compare,
we were not like everybody else.
its not that it ´s not worth it,every sleepless night proves it.
but don´t think that i ask anything of you.
you said yourself,the time will change us
and life makes scenes and man makes mistakes.
Whose fault it is,it doesn´t matter.i don´t go further by foot.
i did anything, but it´s what i wanted to do and maybe i really shouldn´t have.
maybe i mustn’t have to treat you that way but the heart is blind
and i don´t feel sorry for it.even though it was hard.
maybe everyone is right,when they say it was a wrong way.
but to me only with you it was right like that.
i know, everything dissapears and this what we had stopped.
but you still remain-now and forever!
if it was to happen again,for us to meet
I won´t be the same like before.
it would maybe be better.
We learnt something perhaps from the previous relationship……..

Falling apart

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I cried all night until morning came.

i’ll surely find the strength to start walking.

i guess the sun has risen to conceal my heart

because soon the darkness will certainly grow bright.

truly everyone wants to grant a wish but sometimes

it doesn’t go the way you want.

if i collect fragments of hope in the palm of my hand,

i can change them into wonderful joy.

My friends and loved ones give me courage

and i’m holding tight to those words

but the final answerone i must find by myself.

continuing forth for tomorrow.

my feelings are undefeated by the rainand passes through the flame.

i want to persist that strongly

and so someday

even when it seems everything is falling apart.

Dreaming of u

When I close my eyes i dream of you

can’t sleep at night cause i wanna be with you.

don’t want to live,

don’t want to cry

without you by my side.

when i go to sleep at night,

i ask God to make my days bright.

i know he will do it

and i know it is true.

because he knows i only want to be with you.

i hear your voice inside my head.

i can imagine us together again.i

know it will happen.

I know it is true

because i asked God

if i can be with you.

i see you and i together again.

Holding hands and feeling the pain.

what a beautiful feeling……

i wish it were true…

………………but i am only dreaming – dreaming of you…….

Find my light

I’m hurt all the time.
I don’t want to cry for the way I feel inside.
I just want someone to hold me…
I’m alone in the dark, please try to find me.
If no one cares, I don’t see a point to go on.
Anyone find me! Anyone care!
I’m sorry, I just don’t want to be alone anymore.
I feel unheard and unseen. Depressed and weak.
No one cares and yet I’m always the sorry one.
Someone find me! I’m scared.
Please hold me until it all ends.
Just hold me that’s all I want.
I don’t want to be alone in the dark.
Just hold me as I start to disappear from the light.
Just hold me as I start to cry.
Just hold me so I wont be alone inside.
Just hold me so I don’t do something wrong.
Just hold me so tight, that for a moment I could feel the light….

The color of Pain

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If ever the weep of silence
That echoes inside my heart
You have heard,
If ever you have known
The loneliness that accompanies me,

If ever the color of pain
That tinges my tears crystal
You have seen,
If ever you have felt
How emptiness fills my heart –

Ask sky,
Ask sky what it feels to love!

Angel

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Kinda lose your sense of time
Cause the days don’t matter no more
All the feelings that you hide
Gonna tear you up inside
You hope he knows you tried

thoughts Follow you around all day
And you wake up soaking wet
Cause between this world and eternity
There is a face you hope to see

You’ve been walking around in tears
No answers are there to get
You won’t ever be the same
Someone cries and you’re to blame

Struggling with a fight inside
Sorrow you’ll defeat
The picture you see it won’t disappear
Not unpleasant dreams or his voice you hear

You know where you’ve sent him
You sure know where you are
You’re trying to ease off
But you know you won’t get far
And now he’s up there
Sings like an angel
But you can’t hear those words..

The darkness. . .

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The only thing I can see through the window is thick rain drops piercing down on my conscious.

I stay in the middle of my bed curled up and trying to shield myself from the unknown.

I feel like it is never going to shine and never going to stop raining.

The night seems restless and everlasting.

A loud Roar of wind comes crashing down on my window.

I feel that it’s trying to get inside and take me away.

Why can’t this night end soon?!

I’m utterly alone in confining myself to this prison called home.

I’m in solitude that has despair written all around it.

There’s no where else to turn.

Desperate for this night to be over.

I’m daring the sun to come out,

But it doesn’t.

My ears catch every rain drop that falls, while my eyes are blinded shut by darkness.

I stay curled in my fragile state, wishing for this dreadful night to end.

There’s no peaked window that is not surrounded by the pitch black darkness of the night.

There’s no opening of light to which my skin feels warmth.

There’s no crystal clear view, only the solitary confinement which I’m in.

I have nothing else to do but sit and wait.

Quietly crunched in my bed, waiting for darkness to fade into the sunlight.

I will wait!

Trying to contain my thoughts in silence.

I must simply wait…..In hopes that I will not fade within the darkness.

Missing u. . .

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The time has changed a lot….

The situation has changed a lot..

Can’t forget the days when

We used to laugh on silly things…

We used to share the most silent things and the most secret ones….

Neither you are same now nor me

but there will be one thing which will always remain the same

“the care and love on you”

just want to say

i really miss u a lot…